The Shipping News (1993)
Annie Proulx
Winner of The Pulitzer Prize for Fiction & The National Book Award
(Note: The movie is worth seeing once, but it's not as good as the book.)
6.26.2008
Currently Reading...
The Shipping News (1993)
Annie Proulx
Winner of The Pulitzer Prize for Fiction & The National Book Award
(Note: The movie is worth seeing once, but it's not as good as the book.)
QUOTE OF THE DAY
When everything is immediately available and infinitely reproducible, nothing is valuable . . . Reproduction breeds worthlessness.
-Charles Frazier, Thirteen Moons
-Charles Frazier, Thirteen Moons
2008: The Greatest Year Ever
Hooray! It's 2008 and FINALLY time to say "bye-bye douchewafter." Some pictures to celebrate.
6.25.2008
Top 10 Things to Fear
In no particular order, here are ten things for anxious persons to stay up nights worrying about.
1. Flesh-eating Bacteria
(Yes, these are real.)
2. Lightning
Florida is the number-one state in the nation for lightning-related deaths, and I suspect that I will be one of those deaths.
3. Tornados
These happen in Central Florida too, more frequently than you'd imagine.
4. Fire
This includes house fires, forest fires, nuclear reactors, and campfires.
5. STDs
You can't even have sex, the most basic act of pleasure, anymore without worrying that you're going to rot, pus, burn, and die.
6. Terror & Torture
Two of the most terrible things to have cropped up during my lifetime.
7. War
I respect American servicemen and -women, but there's nothing glorious about this Iraq business. I'd like us to stop before we become irretrievably the bad guys. It's like they say in The Dark Knight (opens July 18th, 2008): "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
8. Furniture Stores
If you're looking for a good scare, go hunting for a piece of furniture. Furniture stories are the creepiest places around. Forget paying a hundred bucks to see a haunted house at Disney World.
9. Ghosts
This is the one I'm least frightened of on this whole list.
10. Old Pictures of Children
To me, this is on a par with the flesh-eating bacteria.
1. Flesh-eating Bacteria
(Yes, these are real.)
2. Lightning
Florida is the number-one state in the nation for lightning-related deaths, and I suspect that I will be one of those deaths.
3. Tornados
These happen in Central Florida too, more frequently than you'd imagine.
4. Fire
This includes house fires, forest fires, nuclear reactors, and campfires.
5. STDs
You can't even have sex, the most basic act of pleasure, anymore without worrying that you're going to rot, pus, burn, and die.
6. Terror & Torture
Two of the most terrible things to have cropped up during my lifetime.
7. War
I respect American servicemen and -women, but there's nothing glorious about this Iraq business. I'd like us to stop before we become irretrievably the bad guys. It's like they say in The Dark Knight (opens July 18th, 2008): "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
8. Furniture Stores
If you're looking for a good scare, go hunting for a piece of furniture. Furniture stories are the creepiest places around. Forget paying a hundred bucks to see a haunted house at Disney World.
9. Ghosts
This is the one I'm least frightened of on this whole list.
10. Old Pictures of Children
To me, this is on a par with the flesh-eating bacteria.
6.20.2008
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone."
-Dana Stevens, Slate, 6/19 (on The Love Guru)
-Dana Stevens, Slate, 6/19 (on The Love Guru)
Highlight of Weekend
I have a free gelato coming to me at The Gelato Company, Downtown Gainesville. Woohoo.
Goat Note
A life-long dream is about to come true: Dixie Starr will, in a short while, become co-owner of a goat residing on a Wacahoota Road farm. Excellent!
Where Are They Now? We Don't Want to Know.
In the days when they rocked.
When they were fresh, new, and--dare I say it--revolutionary, Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar defined the zeitgeist of an era and a generation. Cultural icons is a fair designation of these two characters, whose awesomeness became (we thought) inseperable from that of the actors who played them. They were on the cover of Rolling Stone for shit's sake!
Mike Meyers' latest crime against humanity, The Love Guru (2008).
For The Times' review, read here.
As for Dana Carvey, he apparently has a new stand-up show that's reputedly funny. If that's so, why does he look like he's wearing a wig, tooth caps, and surgically altered eyelids?
All we can say is: Please, please stop. Both of you. Before you hurt somebody.
When they were fresh, new, and--dare I say it--revolutionary, Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar defined the zeitgeist of an era and a generation. Cultural icons is a fair designation of these two characters, whose awesomeness became (we thought) inseperable from that of the actors who played them. They were on the cover of Rolling Stone for shit's sake!
Mike Meyers' latest crime against humanity, The Love Guru (2008).
For The Times' review, read here.
As for Dana Carvey, he apparently has a new stand-up show that's reputedly funny. If that's so, why does he look like he's wearing a wig, tooth caps, and surgically altered eyelids?
All we can say is: Please, please stop. Both of you. Before you hurt somebody.
6.17.2008
6.09.2008
ZOHAN REVIEW
All you motherfuckers can go to hell. This shit was funny as shit. If 10 is screaming, rolling in the aisles, paroxysms funny, I'd give it an 8. Fuck you.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Just because you spend most of your time in the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
-Kingpin
-Kingpin
6.08.2008
QUOTE OF THE DAY
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
-The Dark Knight
-The Dark Knight
6.07.2008
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Until you've walked away from it you can't see it. And I decided to come back to the South and be a Southerner. As best I can. I will never BE a Southerner. I'll be this imitation of a Southerner. But in a way, I feel like that brings me closer to God. 'Cause I've chosen -- it's almost like a form of divinity, I've chosen my divinity, rather than my divinity choosing me. Man, they've got some good garbage here."
-Jim White in Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus
-Jim White in Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus
6.06.2008
Weeds Gone Wild!
By the time we got to Weedstock . . .
Never doubt the power of P.R. Changing the name of the two-hour weeding event from "Work Party" to "Weedstock" and adding a department-sponsored barbecue attracted no less than 25 volunteers to yesterday's inaugural event. Below are some pictures of the festival, which was both fun and productive--all the beds around Fifield are now free of invaders, and everyone got a hotdog or a hamburger (or both), some watermelon, and some live music.
Hangin' Tough
Bunny Ears
Grillin' & Chillin'
"The Mercedes of Pruning Shears"
Happy Campers
Never doubt the power of P.R. Changing the name of the two-hour weeding event from "Work Party" to "Weedstock" and adding a department-sponsored barbecue attracted no less than 25 volunteers to yesterday's inaugural event. Below are some pictures of the festival, which was both fun and productive--all the beds around Fifield are now free of invaders, and everyone got a hotdog or a hamburger (or both), some watermelon, and some live music.
Hangin' Tough
Bunny Ears
Grillin' & Chillin'
"The Mercedes of Pruning Shears"
Happy Campers
Toads & Odes A Croaking Success
Todd on the evening of Thursday June 5th reciting "To Sleep" by John Keats.
6.05.2008
Baby Sister Not Really a Baby Anymore
In forty minutes it will be the 24th birthday of my beloved sister, Normandy Rose Gelmis. It will also be the 64th anniversary of the Normandy Invasion, for which she was named; and she will be as old as my boyfriend, which is a little scary. Happy birthday, sister dear! I hope you have a great one!
An Aquarian Exposition
Today is our first WEEDSTOCK '08 event at Fifield Hall at the University of Florida, at which we will be awarded prizes for biggest weed, weirdest weed, etc., and then fed BBQ. Nobody seems as excited about it as I am. I even brought my turfgrass science hat to wear. I hope, by the end of the two hours, to be looking like the people pictured below in August 1969.
Best Movies of 2008: #2
I'm counting 'em down. #1 was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which opened May 22nd. This Friday, June 6th, it's Zohan. I can't wait!!! Sarah and I will be seeing it to our great delight on Sunday. Oh yeah!
Currently Reading . . .
Thirteen Moons (2006)
by Charles Frazier
(author of Cold Mountain--this one also won The National Book Award)
6.02.2008
Toads & Odes
Todd and I have agreed to memorize one poem per week (or part of a very long one) and recite them to each other, holding a squishy rubber toad, on a night to be dubbed "Toads and Odes." This week it's Wednesday night; selections include a Keats poem by Todd and the first three stanzas of Dylan Thomas's "Fern Hill" by me, Dixie. We hope by this exercise to improve our memorization skills and gain a more nuanced appreciation of language and rhythm.
Take a Look
. . . at this blob in my drain. See if you can guess what it is.
1. Giant booger
2. Melted gnocchi
3. Banana ball
4. Dough
My Vinky Vas a Keeeeeey . . .
You know I like me some snakes and snake stories. Here's one for y'all that doesn't even need to be read -- the title says it all. (However, I do find the words "manhood" and "member" mildly amusing, and both can be found in this 250-word article.)
QUOTE OF THE DAY
He looked back on his long bright empty days in Mexico and said that he had lost his honor over the years. He hadn't noticed it going. Small rodents had come in the night and carried it away bit by bit on tiny padded feet.
-Charles Portis, Gringos
-Charles Portis, Gringos
6.01.2008
Song of the Week
"Strawberry Wine" (1996)
Sung by: Deana Carter
Lyrics by: Matraca Berg
He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for for knowledge and he had a car
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
Funny how those memories they last
Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
I still remember when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September when he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste
Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen a plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much
Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
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