Dead Malaysian Mermaid

Oh, this is so, so awesome...

Where I Kind of Wish I Was Today

Moorea. An island near Tahiti, in the South Pacific. Mmm...

bert and ernie are on the drugs

"The Drugs" are the least disturbing aspect of this video that a, shall we say, eccentric friend forwarded to me. Because they're speaking in GERMAN, I can't tell if the fact that they're CYCLOPS is relevant.

This is Lincoln, the barred owl who lives in the tree across from my bedroom window. I hear him just after dark and just before dawn almost every day, on his way to and from the all-night mouse diner.

Word for the Day

SYBARITIC: adjective. Characterized by loving sensuous pleasure and luxury.Comes from the noun Sybarite, a person devoted to luxury, referring to residents of the ancient Greek city Sybaris in southern Italy, destroyed 510 B.C.

Florida Pic of the Day

Payne's Prairie Boardwalk, 441, south of Gainesville

The Mysterious Incident of the Guacamole

Apparently last night, quite late, I turned up at Todd's door in my bathrobe, bearing a bowl of homemade guacamole, which I said I was giving him. To the best of my knowledge, I was asleep at the time and have only a fuzzy recollection of bestowing the gift on the unsuspecting poet.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

We write fiction because we believe it could have been different. And that's why we treat others with kindness and delicacy--because we know it could have been different.
-Garrison Keillor, 5/15/04, 30th Anniversary broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion

Weeki Wachee Show

Not the greatest quality of video, but I think this one (of all the Weeki Wachee videos out there on the Web) gives a pretty good sense of the experience. This is the show that Jadh and I saw last May when we drove down to Weeki Wachee.

My First

Greg's blog gave me this idea. The first music I ever purchased? Ace of Base's album The Sign. 1994. ON CASSETTE.

So Cute

My Todd. A very patient, kind, and gentle man. Also very smart, and a talented poet.

Peace & Tranquility

I was looking at my kitchen last night, after cooking a delicious dinner, washing the dishes, preparing my lunch for work, and sweeping and mopping the floor. And I realized that my kitchen was very serene. I will now share the vision.

Wide angle of the kitchen. Very cozy.

My fridge. Todd got me the Joan of Arc magnet for Valentine's Day. He knows I admire her.

Pictures, St. George magnet (from Tarpon Springs), Buddha quote, Chinese fortune, Catskills local produce sticker.

Todd's poem, Nur's bottle opener, Valentine's roses (drying).

Me (with Greg Lickenbrock at The Top last year), Saara (with Charity, who you can't see, on The Top patio), a quote from The Buddha.

My new plant.

Clean dishes, drying in the dishrack.

Fresh fruit, coffee (decaf and regular), spices.

My newly-mopped floor, clean enough to stand on in bare feet!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Not for just a second or a minute or an hour
Not for just the weekend and a shakedown in the shower
Not for just the summer
and the winter going sour
But always
always
always
-Irving Berlin

White Trash Wedding

An often-overlooked part of YouTube hilarity is the comments following the video. Like for this one, one dude wrote: "Is this supposed to be funny? That's how 75% of white people live."

The Eye II

Dixie, innocently eating a cup of soy yogurt, had no idea what was crawling towards her.

THE EYE approached.


Dixie went on discoursing on the nature of photoelectrons.


THE EYE was upon her!

"Monumentally lame" is what Boulevard Apartment sand fleas have been calling this year's softball season by the Sinkholes. Two forfeits, one loss, and one game they weren't allowed to play . . . Still, some good catches and runs were made, and some good team spirit showed. Those MFAs do stick together, whether rising or falling.

The Next Supper

If you got to invite five people, living or dead, to a dinner party, who would you have? This is assuming we could all communicate in the same language. For this exercise, the people must all be or have been real.

I haven't finished my list yet, but here's who I'd take so far:
Shakespeare
Pierre Bonnard
Joan of Arc

QUOTE OF THE DAY

...even the mightiest of heroes could no longer be entirely assured that there would always be a world for them to save.
-Michael Chabon, "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay"

My Typewriter

I bought this beautiful electric Smith Corona for $10 at the "antiques mall" on 441, about 10 miles south of Gainesville, back in June. I got the ribbon for it at the office supply store on the corner of NW 6th St. and University. The typewriter works perfectly except for the "return" key.

Basically the "antiques mall" is a junk yard owned by this family that just sits outside amidst their acres of junk all day. The junk includes TVs, VCRs, and other electric devices, all of which have been sitting out in the Florida rain for years. So has the family, by the looks of them. A weather-beaten lot, but very friendly.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Some of us have great stories. Pretty stories, that take place at lakes, with boats, and friends, and noodle salad. Just no one in THIS car. But a lot of people -- that's their story. Good times -- noodle salad.
-Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets"

Must-have Items #'s 3 & 4

This is what Sarah's getting for her birthday this year.

Bert and Ernie parody - Ernie Buys Crap

Ernie buys useless shit off the Internet.

Hot Toddy

1 tbsp honey
3/4 glass tea
2 shots brandy
1 slice lemon

Brew tea and fill a tall glass 3/4 full. Mix in honey. Mix in brandy shots. Add lemon slice and enjoy.

AWESOME FILM MAKES MY WEEK

I'm sorry, but this movie

has "reduced me to the elemental," to borrow a phrase from Meg Franklin. I can only share with you my gasping, heart-pumping delight through pictures of them

and us.


Please note that the people in the film poster (see yesterday's post) are NOT in fact the actor/actress in the film. I don't know why they did that. The real film couple is much cuter.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Seriously, why would someone want a shriveled-up grape in their fucking cookie?
-Nur Reno

Underappreciated Film #2

Tremors (1990)
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, and some other people, including Reba McEntire
Locale: Perfection, Nevada
Type of movie: Action/(sci-fi?)

Basically these giant underground worms, created by nuclear testing, besiege a small desert town. A couple of ranch-hands (Bacon and Ward) and a clever geology student (the girl with curly brown hair who never made another film) have to lead these few chewed-up souls to safety over the mountains. Lots of blasting, worm guts, survivalists (Reba is one), and a Chinaman getting sucked through the floor. Pole-vaulting, too.

Today's relevance: Meg might have a tapeworm, which, magnified, looks quite a lot like the gigantic monstrous worms in Tremors (see below).

Step Up, Biatches

We are so totally pumped to see this movie today. Like, 150%. Or more. Even though we all have sinus infections.

Bert and Ernie parody - how would you kill me

Once again, INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT. Consider this fair warning.

Japanese Game show human bowling

This looks like fun. I don't know that I'd give up my day job to do it, but I might be willing to devote one or two afternoons a week.

Just another Alachua County meth raid.

Gainesvillains to Wed

We can't reveal their identities yet, but two of our very good friends here in Gainesville are set to wed sometime later this year. We hope for ice-cold beer, shooting at random targets, foot-stomp-stompin, tube tops, possum casserole, and a rousin good old-fashioned time!

Point-Counterpoint: Georgia Poems

Remember that saccharine poem by two of Georgia's students, in which she was called "an angel"? This is the flipside of having Georgia as a third-grade teacher, as illustrated by a feisty redheaded she-devil known as "The Dread Pirate Dash," who played the role of Peter Pan stunningly. It is entitled "Georgia at Her Worst." It seems to be a two-parter. Note the asterisk. It's also Dash's work.

Georgia at Her Worst*

Georgia stalking like a vicious tiger,
Like a lion.
She is the most vicious creature in the city.
Vicious like a lion.





Georgia is silently creeping
Like a snake,
Silent,
Like a snake.
Silently creeping,
Like a snake.
Silent
Like a snake.

*A rare occurance and fully necessary when children are screaming.

Fox on Trampoline

SO cute. A wild red fox jumping on a backyard trampoline.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Words of wisdom? If you are going to write formally, learn the forms--the meters especially--from study of the great poets and poems of the past. It also helps a lot to know some poets from other languages (but perhaps not too many)--a few stars to be guided by. If you are going to write free verse, study of the great past masters of free verse is likewise absolutely necessary, I should think: Stevens & Williams, Pound & Eliot--and a scattering of other poems if not poets. Then of course everyone will--whether advised to or not--develop two or three favorites, whether they're really all that marvelous or not, and these favorites are to be prized.
-Donald Justice
in interview, March 6, 1997

The Eye

While Todd slept, an eyeball crept up and nestled snugly in his bosom. He slept on, blissfully unaware that THE EYE was upon him.

THE EYE continued its vigil.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Even now, making his unescorted way
down through the circles, one descends
by whom the city shall be opened.

-Inferno VIII

Sarah's Weekly Tasks

My friend Sarah is a busy lady, but not so busy that she isn't always accepting more tasks. She loves a challenge! Her tasks next week include trying to break this man's record:

We figured that 30,000 emergency calls a year breaks down into roughly 10 hours of prank calling a day, for a total of 70 hours per week. If I help Sarah out, we might be able to each do 5 hours a day and still have 3 hours for UF-related work, if we don't take lunches.

Re: bodily noises and grunts, we have calls out to both Tom and Bart, so if they can record us some (and maybe some farm animals, too), we can each have a tape to play when the emergency operator answers, rather than having to make the sounds ourselves.

Valentine's 2008

...was a good one.

Ready to go out to dinner.


Todd looks nice for dinner, too.


Todd's roses with Mom's card.


Closeup of Mom's card. She always sends cool ones.


Todd's presents. Very cool. A pirate card, a badger picture, a Joan of Arc puppet/magnet, and a Florida birding book.


After our delicious meal at The Paramount Grill, all we could do was lie on the couches.

Valentine's B-Day

Yesterday was Tom Wichman's birthday. Tom is the Master Gardener coordinator for the entire state of Florida. He thinks every time of day is morning, and if you ask him how he is, he will indupitably say, "Amazing!" He enjoys chain restaurants and the Top 40.

We threw Tom a surprise party. We told him there was an important "meeting" upstairs, and then we all hid. When he came up, we thrust the card we'd made at him and hacked an ice cream cake to death.

Here is a little re-creation of the day:

First, Sarah and I made him a card, using cardstock, a glue stick, computer print-outs, and markers, while watching Bret Michaels on VH-1.com.


The card progressed nicely.





We were pleased with our efforts.


Then we went around and got everyone to sign it. First, Sarah signed.


Then Kim signed.


Laurie signed it.


Brian signed.


Finally, Diane signed.


The finished card was quite impressive.


Then, we hid. Here is Bart, hiding.


Tom was VERY surprised.


We brought out the Publix cake (frozen solid), a meat cleaver, and some paper plates. Here is Kim slicing cake while Emily supervises.


Then we partied!


Happy Birthday, Tom!