Yes, it's true: I'm dating a real live inventor. When, in jest, my clever boyfriend invented "the dickwig," we assumed it was a creation already thought of by mankind. Who, in pubic distress, in the absence of proper scrotal hirsuiteness, would not have imagined a wig for that area -- a wig store, even, specializing in different colors, textures, sizes . . .
Yet it's true. Google searches have proven "dickwig" to be an as-yet unpatented term, the product itself as yet unavailable to a potentially enormous market. Todd is now working on getting the proper licensing from the government to go into business. Below are some samples from his portfolio:
The Caveman. The major dickwig. For those with extreme pubic baldness.
The Smarmy Socialist. Unpleasantly suave, this one nevertheless considers the needs of his fellow workingmen, presuming to take but a bit of uninteresting hair for his own groin.
The Mendicant. For those with pious leanings.
We hope to make the dickwig available at drug and beauty-aid stores across the nation by fall 2008. We will keep our reading public informed.
Inventor of the dickwig.
