Bioparty

Eight Biospherians (1991-1993) party inside the dome, looped on a single glass of banana wine each.

I Heart Huckabees (2)

"I've thought about hacking you up with a machete many times, Brad."

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"What we've got here is a failure to accumulate."
-Ernest P. Worrell

A Wicked Good Writer

We were discussing today how my office is kind of like one of his stories.

Johnny Dolphin: Cowboy Poet Scientist

Today I tip my hat to one of my many earthly fathers, the great multi-talented writer/artist/scientist/explorer John Polk Allen, aka Johnny Dolphin. Johnny designed the Biosphere 2, my once and future home in the desert.

Long is the way and hard that out of Hell leads up to light.
-John Milton

Sean's Items

1. His birthday was Monday. Happy Birthday!!
2. His dog Oliver eats Ace bandages and poops them out.
3. Birds seek his company.
4. We love him!

I Heart Huckabees (1)

"When you get the blanket thing you can relax, because everything you could ever want or be, you already have and are."

Featured Cutie

This is my kind of dog. Hi Homer!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"You tried to milk him, didn't you, Focker?"

How To Recognize Gainesville Hippies

They generally are wearing something, or having something plastered on their vehicle or organic grocery bag, that identifies them as participants in or adherents of an entity with the word "Hogtown" in it. "Hogtown" is of course the original name of Gainesville, and still, regrettably, lends its name to a variety of theatrical and vegan groups here in town. Bleh.

Mississippi: Fattest State

Wow! Congratulations! Faulkner sucks! Y'all are fat!

Read the article.

Magritte et Moi

They looked like victims of a shark attack--not the day of the biting, but months later, when the missing parts start washing up.



The hand showed evidence of palsy.



"It's a paramecium, not a computer!"



The cowboy began his long journey back to reality.

Lady We Like

Debbie Harry
Punk icon
Band: Blondie (1975-83)
Hometown: Miami, Florida
"Learn to play your instruments, then get sexy."

BERMUDAS

WHERE the remote Bermudas ride,
In the ocean's bosom unespied,
From a small boat, that rowed along,
The listening winds received this song:

"What should we do but sing His praise
That led us through the watery maze,
Unto an isle so long unknown,
And yet far kinder than our own?
Where He the huge sea-monsters wracks,
That lift the deep upon their backs;
He lands us on a grassy stage,
Safe from the storms, and prelate's rage.
He gave us this eternal spring,
Which here enamels every thing,
And sends the fowls to us in care,
On daily visits through the air;
He hangs in shades the orange bright,
Like golden lamps in a green night,
And does in the pomegranates close
Jewels more rich than Ormus shows;
He makes the figs our mouths to meet,
And throws the melons at our feet;
But apples plants of such a price,
No tree could ever bear them twice;
With cedars chosen by His hand,
From Lebanon, He stores the land,
And makes the hollow seas, that roar,
Proclaim the ambergris on shore;
He cast (of which we rather boast)
The Gospel's pearl upon our coast,
And in these rocks for us did frame
A temple where to sound His name.
Oh ! let our voice His praise exalt,
Till it arrive at Heaven's vault,
Which, thence (perhaps) rebounding, may
Echo beyond the Mexique Bay."

Thus sung they, in the English boat,
An holy and a cheerful note;
And all the way, to guide their chime,
With falling oars they kept the time.

Andrew Marvell, 1621-1678

Florida Fact

Florida burns more acres under prescription than any other state.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I'll get drunk and you can break my arm, but I'm not dropping out of school."
-Jadh Kerr

"But I know what English words mean -- I speak English! You must be a bit of a thicko."
-Prince George IV to Ben Jonson
(Blackadder the Third)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Because people to whom sin is just a matter of words, to them salvation is just words too.
-William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

The Face of War in My Generation

Florida Fact

Florida State Shell: Horse Conch
A friend and I once hurled one of these (larger than that pictured here) off my upstairs porch at a parked car.

A Hottie

Clive Owen. Hot. Hot hot hot hot. I am unapologetically attracted to this man.

Drug Sub

Wow! Wow! 3.3 TONS! Wow!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

This one's for Katrina.


"You must be like the wolf pack. Not like the six pack."
-Mystery Men (1999)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Smiling's my favorite."

John Ch. 20
1: The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.
2: Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him.
3: Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre.
4: So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.
5: And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in.
6: Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,
7: And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.
8: Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed.
9: For as yet they knew not the scripture, that he must rise again from the dead.
10: Then the disciples went away again unto their own home.
11: But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,
12: And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
13: And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
14: And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.
15: Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
16: Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
17: Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
18: Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things unto her.
19: Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
20: And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord.
21: Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.
22: And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost:
23: Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.
24: But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.
25: The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.
26: And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you.
27: Then saith he to Thomas, reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing.
28: And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God.
29: Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
30: And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book:
31: But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Man corrupt everything, say Shug. He on your box of grits, in your head, and all over the radio. He try to make you think he everywhere. Soon as you think he everywhere, you think he God. But he ain't. Whenever you trying to pray, and man plop himself on the other end of it, tell him to git lost, say Shug. Conjure up flowers, wind, water, a big rock.

But this hard work, let me tell you. He been there so long, he don't want to budge. He threaten lightning, floods and earthquakes. Us fight. I hardly pray at all. Every time I conjure up a rock, I throw it.

-Alice Walker
The Color Purple

This reminds me of the face my dentist made this morning when I told her I had studied Creative Writing.

QUOTE OF THE DAY (#2)

Lucinda, I love you -- but this one trumps your lyrics. (As does this vaguely porny logo.)

"Camel expert Chris Hill said he had no doubt the camel's behavior was sexual."

This comes to us courtesy of Weird News. Read the story of a camel who "knocked a woman to the ground, lay on top of her, then exhibited what police suspect was mating behavior." The woman did not survive. I believe the camel's name was Padgett Powell.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

All I ask--don't tell anybody the secrets
Don't tell anybody the secrets
I told you
-Lucinda Williams

Signs of the South

Today driving to work I saw this sign: Scooter Tent Sale. What is a scooter tent? This ranks with other perplexing signs I've noticed the South's fondness for. Here are some examples:

1. The Yellow Roof Store
2. Smooth Garlic Crabs
3. No Swimming in Cut-offs
4. Every Saint Has a Past (positioned between a church and liquor store)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Tell me where I may pass the Fires
Of the hot day, or hot desires.
-Andrew Marvell

They Knew Grass Then . . .

Since becoming a full-time Florida resident, Dixie's learned a thing or two about turfgrass -- those species of grass bred, grown, and cultivated by and for sports arenas, home lawns, golf courses, pastures, and sod farms.

They knew about grass and gardens in 17th Century England, too. Below is a fantastic poem by a seriously weird poet, Andrew Marvell, whom Dixie has loved since college.

Damon the Mower
by Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)

i
Heark how the Mower Damon Sung,
With love of Juliana stung!
While ev'ry thing did seem to paint
The Scene more fit for his complaint.
Like her fair Eyes the day was fair;
But scorching like his am'rous Care.
Sharp like his Sythe his Sorrow was,
And wither'd like his Hopes the Grass.

ii
Oh what unusual Heats are here,
Which thus our Sun-burn'd Meadows sear!
The Grass-hopper its pipe gives ore;
And hamstring'd Frogs can dance no more.
But in the brook the green Frog wades;
And Grass-hoppers seek out the shades.
Only the Snake, that kept within,
Now glitters in its second skin.

iii
This heat the Sun could never raise,
Nor Dog-star so inflame's the dayes.
It from an higher Beauty grow'th,
Which burns the Fields and Mower both:
Which made the Dog, and makes the Sun
Hotter then his own Phaeton.
Not July causeth these Extremes,
But Juliana's scorching beams.

iv
Tell me where I may pass the Fires
Of the hot day, or hot desires.
To what cool Cave shall I descend,
Or to what gelid Fountain bend?
Alas! I look for Ease in vain,
When Remedies themselves complain.
No moisture but my Tears do rest,
Nor Cold but in her Icy Breast.

v
How long wilt Thou, fair Shepheardess,
Esteem me, and my Presents less?
To Thee the harmless Snake I bring,
Disarmed of its teeth and sting.
To Thee Chameleons changing-hue,
And Oak leaves tipt with hony-dew.
Yet Thou ungrateful hast not sought
Nor what they are, nor who them brought.

vi
I am the Mower Damon, known
Through all the Meadows I have mown.
On me the Morn her dew distills
Before her darling Daffadils.
And, if at Noon my toil me heat,
The Sun himself licks off my Sweat.
While, going home, the Ev'ning sweet
In cowslip-water bathes my feet.

vii
What, though the piping Shepherd stock
The plains with an unnumber'd Flock,
This Sithe of mine discovers wide
More ground than all his Sheep do hide.
With this the golden fleece I shear
Of all these Closes ev'ry Year.
And though in Wooll more poor than they,
Yet am I richer far in Hay.

viii
Nor am I so deform'd to sight,
If in my Sithe I looked right;
In which I see my Picture done,
As in a crescent Moon the Sun.
The deathless Fairyes take me oft
To lead them in their Danses soft:
And, when I tune my self to sing,
About me they contract their Ring.

ix
How happy might I still have mow'd,
Had not Love here his Thistles sow'd!
But now I all the day complain,
Joyning my Labour to my Pain;
And with my Sythe cut down the Grass,
Yet still my Grief is where it was:
But, when the Iron blunter grows,
Sighing I whet my Sythe and Woes.

x
While thus he threw his Elbow round,
Depopulating all the Ground,
And, with his whistling Sythe, does cut
Each stroke between the Earth and Root,
The edged Stele by careless chance
Did into his own Ankle glance;
And there among the Grass fell down,
By his own Sythe, the Mower mown.

xi
Alas! said He, these hurts are slight
To those that dye by Loves despight.
With Shepherds-purse, and Clowns-all-heal,
The Blood I stanch, and Wound I seal.
Only for him no Cure is found,
Whom Julianas Eyes do wound.
'Tis death alone that this must do:
For Death thou art a Mower too.

Furniture Stores: Way Terrifying

I've been hunting for a writing desk to replace the shaky, 20-dollar Wal-Mart folding table I have now. In pursuit of this desk, I've been in just about every Gainesville furniture store in the last three days. And to be honest, they make me quake like a little child. I'm never going in a furniture store again.

First of all, they're weirdly lit. Second, they're deathly still. Except for the occasional plash of fountains or strange lite jazz. They are deserted -- or so you think, until a wraithlike salesperson pops out from behind a tacky baroque bedframe and glimmers at you with his orblike eyes.

Thirdly, they bear no connection to the world outside their doors. You step from a hot, bright, noisy street into a funereal chill and silence. You wander rows and rows of overwrought, ugly, dark furniture. You wonder: How do these people make a living? Who buys this stuff?

At most there will be one overweight woman trying out a secondhand beige leather couch, bouncing up and down in that room of vacancy.

And you run.

Dixie, in her wilder days.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and the snares of the devil.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Regardless, all he will do is be old and bad. He is an old, bad guy.
-Sean B.

On the Wagon

1 month, 2 weeks, 1 day, and this morning . . .



Dixie's gone without drinking or smoking.

Woman Calls Police About 'Fake' Cocaine.

This is genius.

Brrr!

Dixie spent some time in the North as a child. These pictures are of the place she partly grew up. They were taken this past August. When Dixie saw these pictures, she thought, "It looks cold!"



This is Virgil.

Gays, yes. Cowboys? No.

So I finally saw Brokeback Mountain. Frankly I'm surprised there was any controversy surrounding it at all -- at least about the gayness. The gayness is fine. What chaps my ass is the notion that these pale, groomed children are cowboys. Has the director, Ang Lee, ever SEEN a cowboy? Cowboys are: A) Men. B) Tan. (When Jake Gyllenhaal took off all his clothes to wash them in a stream, he was so white I almost fell off my chair.) C) Dirty. D) Do not look like they have just been costumed and styled by high-budget Hollywood artists. E) Do not have manicured, soft hands. F) Look like they know what they're doing when they're wrangling sheep and riding horses.

Still, the boys try. Heath Ledger makes an attempt at a "cowboy accent," rendering him barely intelligble. I kept turning up the sound, but the mumbling just got louder. He sounds a little like a Cajun I know who lives in a tent. Jake gives his man a lot of soulful looks, and at one point plays a few bars on a harmonica. He pissed me off worse than Heath. The conceit that he is a "rodeo rider" -- F that.

All in all, I couldn't get past my disbelief in these two, leaving me totally unwilling to accept the rest of the movie. They would've been better off hiring some unknown, filthy, wizened mountain people.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Philanderers should always pay cash."
-Christopher Null

Anxiety Alert Level

(We're very proud of this one!)



Green
Low Risk of Anxiety Attacks

Whew!

Pierre Bonnard

French painter
1867-1947
I love him. His work is surprising and familiar every time I look at it. His colors make me swoon, but his subjects are comfortable and domestic. He can't really be classified into a school of painting. I admire that.

Donovan

'60's British singer of folk/pop/psychedelia. Author of the songs "Mellow Yellow," "Hurdy Gurdy Man," "Jennifer Juniper," and "Atlantis." Introduced to me by my mother.